What it’s like being an overthinker

I feel like there’s a misconception about what it’s like being an overthinker. I’m sure most people have experienced something that they over thought about. Maybe something school related, or relationship related, or just something in your life. But that doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to be someone who chronically overthinks things. The same way experiencing sadness doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to be depressed, or feeling anxious about one specific event doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to live with a type of chronic anxiety. I believe that overthinking and anxiety go hand in hand. Over thinking is basically the manifested form of anxiety. But what does it mean to experience this? Well, I’ll try to explain.

I remember my first full blown panic attack, or at least the most significant. It was a couple of years ago in this crowded bar.I think of it almost like the opposite of an out of body experience. It felt like I was trapped in my own body. I was vividly aware of everything I was feeling, but I had no control over it. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. I remember it being really crowded, but it wasn’t too warm inside. Despite that, I could feel my body temperature climbing, and then I could feel myself start to sweat….a lot (seriously it was like I was in the middle of a workout). I could feel all the bodies around me, everywhere I turned. I could feel the lights beaming down on me. I remember having trouble breathing and feeling extremely light headed like I was about to faint. It felt like I was suffocating. I was hyper aware of everything and it made it so much worse. I’ve had other experiences like that before with public speaking and presentations, but that one was the worst, it felt like I was dying. This is what I think it means to be an overthinker. Not necessarily as bad as this situation, but the feeling of being trapped in your head without being able to stop it. Maybe you don’t understand why it’s happening, but no matter how seemingly small or illogical the situation is, your thoughts are consumed by it. 

I mentioned earlier how overthinking is the manifested version of anxiety. Maybe you experience social anxiety, like what I described in the previous paragraph, causing you to overthink talking in front of groups of people, or just anyone you don’t know well, or even just being in the middle of a large group. Maybe you’re an overthinker when it comes to relationships, There’s all kinds of literature about the different attachment styles. You might be experiencing anxious attachment, where you cling to your significant other, not trusting their feelings towards you. Or maybe you’re experiencing avoidant attachment, which is where you try to avoid intimate feelings and intimate relationships, also due to mistrust. Of course there’s all kinds of different forms of anxiety, and they’re all linked to overthinking. 

There are a lot of people who don’t know what it’s like to overthink, or maybe they do know but it wasn’t a recurring issue for them, and they were able to easily overcome it. The problem is that everyone is different and people handle things differently. Just because one person was able to easily deal with a time they overthought something, doesn’t mean everyone else is like that too. People don’t know what others are going through, and a lot of times they don’t even try. This disconnect is especially problematic with interpersonal relationships. A lot of people view overthinkers as people who are just thirsty for attention or being dramatic, but this isn’t necessarily the case. Of course this is the individual’s burden to carry. Overthinkers need to take accountability for themselves and try to improve through therapy or some other avenue. They can’t just dump all of this on their partner/friend/whoever, but a little reassurance isn’t too much to ask for is it? I really just think the world would be a better place if people took even half a second to consider the other person’s perspective and approached things with more compassion and patience.