Since the beginning of summer, I have been obsessed with these damn balloon popping shows. I have been watching the hour long videos absolutely transfixed by the unhinged things that the different people on the shows have to say. It is fascinating to watch the different people interact with each other and pop their balloons. I like to sit at home and imagine if I would have done the same if I was on the show too. I exclusively watch Arlette Amuli’s show because I feel her show has considerably more class and professionalism than other shows in the genre. Other shows I’ve seen have been silly and unserious, and it’s hard for me to get through them. Arlette’s show is different though. As the host, Arlette, does a good job of making sure people are giving full and honest answers instead of just vague non descriptive ones, and it’s generally more respectful than other balloon popping shows that I’ve seen. I’m not fully sure if it’s accidentally or on purpose, but the show perfectly reflects what it is like in the modern dating scene.
Before I get into the comparison between the show, and modern dating, l will try to explain the rules and concept of the show. It’s a dating show, the goal is to match people based on attraction and perceived compatibility. The show starts with a group of guys or girls standing side by side with balloons. The host, Arlette, brings out the single participant to talk about themselves and answer some typical dating questions (dealbreakers, what they look for in a partner, etc.). The men/women with the balloons are asked to pop their balloons if the participant is not their type, or if they say or do something that makes them not interested. An unpopped balloon indicates that they are interested. After the initial introduction with the participant, Arlette either asks the participant to pop a certain number of balloons of the people that are in line with balloons, or if some people already popped their balloon then she will go over to question them about it. When a balloon is popped Arlette makes the person that popped say why they popped. Answers such as “he’s just not my type” aren’t usually accepted, the host will make the person delve deeper into what specific things make that person not their type (yes, I know this is crazy). There are multiple rounds of questioning and balloon popping until there are either none left or one last person left standing. To get a match, both the last person with a balloon, and the participant that is brought out have to consent to the match.
The first thing about the show that I think reflects modern dating is the illusion of choice. When the single participant walks out they immediately see all their choices lined up, most of them are conventionally attractive and seem desirable enough on the surface. In the beginning, if the single person is asked to pop some of the people in line’s balloon, they often struggle because nothing immediately jumps out as negative in the choices presented. As time goes on though, as more questions are asked, the options begin to dwindle and they realize that the options they thought they had were not actually feasible for whatever reason. This is reflective of dating specifically with dating apps where you may see a lot of attractive people on an app, and it makes you feel like there are tons of good options for you out there, but upon talking to them further you see that they are not actually right for you or vice versa. On the other side of the coin, the people in line with the balloons sometimes pop their balloon just so they can wait and see all the potential options that are set to walk out on the show. A lot of times in modern dating someone will meet a person that they like to an extent, but not enough to fully commit, so they move past them to see if there’s anything better.
Going along with the illusion of choice, are the trivial things that people will choose to reject someone over. When you are presented with what feels like a ton of different options, you are forced to make choices on miniscule things that don’t actually tell you anything about the person you are judging. For example, a lot of the participants get rejected over things such as the clothes they’re wearing, their shoes, wearing hoop earrings, not being able to swim, someone’s job seeming too boring, and other small things along those lines. Sometimes people will even pop their own balloon if they think the person is going to end up popping theirs (one time there was a participant that said they don’t like smokers, and one of the people with a balloon ended up popping their own balloon because while they themselves don’t smoke, they know people that do?). If the reason isn’t trivial a lot of times it’s something superficial like height, body type, skin complexion, or hair style. All things that are commonly used in the real life dating scene.
Another thing this show highlights is how arduous the dating scene is. In the show there are usually multiple rounds involving rejections, disagreements, and disappointment. It is eerily similar to what life is like on dating apps; the level of difficulty increases with every passing round. On dating apps, the preliminary round is when you are swiping left/right on potential prospects (similar to the initial balloon popping on the show). The next round is if/when you are lucky enough to get a match (after the initial balloon popping is over). Then you message your match and hope for a favorable response (the round of questioning after the initial popped balloons). By this point you are invested in the other person, you’ve been talking, things have been going well, there seems to be mutual interest, but on the show, like in life, there are still a number of prospects left that the participant must wade through to try to make the most informed decision. In the show this is the point where there may be two or three prospects left for the participant to choose from. In this stage the questions get a little more personal, and sometimes one prospect is able to clearly distance themselves from the others, but usually it is not that simple. The participant is forced to choose between multiple equally qualified suitors, so it almost ends up being a coin flip. Maybe one prospect is a little taller, their smile a little bit wider, maybe the participant just likes one of the prospect’s names more. This is the small margin between success and failure and in real life this process is constantly repeated with an infinitely larger pool of candidates.
Occasionally, on the show, a balloon is popped because the two people simply lack chemistry, it’s a mutual disinterest so it’s easier for both parties to stomach. Most times though, one of the parties is interested in the other, which makes the rejection sting more. As a single person that actively dates, I can say that this is prevalent in my dating experience. You meet someone and go out, and either you like them and they metaphorically pop your balloon because they don’t feel the same way, or you pop theirs because you don’t feel the same way about them. In the middle of the chaos, you are stuck looking around at all the carnage and wondering how you will survive to the end. On the show, much like in life, if you are the last one standing, you have successfully withstood an extremely laborious battle royal. You have earned the right to go out with the other person, and still possibly get your balloon popped by them in the future.
A common belief in incel culture is that women only want the top 10% of men, and that the men in that tier have it easy when it comes to dating. This show helps emphasize why that is a ridiculous take. There are countless times on the show when a conventionally attractive man or woman leaves with no matches. I’m always very surprised when a pretty and well put together woman comes out, and the guys with balloons instantly start popping, but that just goes to show the nature of dating. It’s hard for men, it’s hard for women, it’s hard for everybody. The game is the game and it’s almost impossibly difficult even for those perceived to be in the highest tier.
Final Thoughts
Beyond the broader themes that attach it to modern dating, there are other things I find interesting about this show. The amount of single people with kids is staggering, there are some episodes where more than half of the people involved have kids. I’m also surprised by how many people on the show are religious, and have religion (lack of religion) as one of their dealbreakers. It seems like in the modern age, there are a lot of people that classify themselves as agnostic or not religious in the conventional sense, so the amount of conventionality on the show is surprising to me. Also, this may sound silly, but the first time I watched one of these videos, I was extremely taken aback by the balloons being popped. There are times when someone is talking and several balloons will be popped while they are in the middle of a sentence. There are also times when almost all the balloons are popped before the participant from the back even has enough time to walk up to the microphone. I can hardly fathom the gumption, the gall, the absolute balls (or ovaries?) of steel that is necessary to maintain your composure when you are being repeatedly rejected in real time in front of hundreds of thousands of people watching online. Watching people be rejected, their reactions to being rejected, and hearing the reasoning behind the rejections is what keeps me watching. If you are in a relationship, I hope you watch these videos and clutch your partner a little tighter. I promise the dating scene is even rougher than you think it is. I definitely recommend checking out Ms. Arlette’s channel and watching the chaos unfold.
Just some guy on the internet 